Anonymous 
Are you looking for a relationship, or may just came out of one? Are you in a relationship? Is it new, or have you been there for a while?
I want to first share a little of my story. I became phone friends with a man. From that day, we talked. We might go for long periods of time and not talk. However, it slowly turned into more. For several years, it was phone contact only. Some time after we labeled ourselves as a couple, we met in person. We lived in separate states. A family member accompanied me to meet him. After meeting in person only a small number of times, I moved in with him.
Right after that, he was ready for, shall we say the honeymoon.
Not to say I wasn’t. However, looking back, I wonder how much in depth he meant what he promised. I felt safe at the time. He was kind and gentle. We had our problems before my move, and more came after. I knew then I was ignoring things, red flags. However, I felt it would get better once we were together. I am not going into all the personal details of it.
But, do not think being together will fix their personality. Don’t allow yourself to walk on egg shells to keep them happy. It’s not okay when they want all your attention on them every minute, and it’s an obvious stressor every time you go to visit your family. They never accompany you. It’s never okay for a significant other to pull a wedge or make you feel bad for visiting the people who love you.
It takes two in any relationship. Really, there should be three. God in the center, and then the couple.
Now that I have been out of that relationship for almost two years, I realize there was a lot wrong with it. Now let me just say, not all was bad. It looked good in a lot of ways, even from the inside. But, I just want to point out some things I learned personally, and some things I learned after leaving.
Samantha here. Thank you for taking the time to visit this blog. Also thank you for taking time to read this anonymous author’s story. It takes a lot to get out, and a lot to share your story. Please come back for more. Let’s return. God bless, and prayers.
1 Do not ignore red flags. They are real.
2 Set, and stick to, boundaries.
3 You are not the only one who has to keep the relationship afloat.
4 Learn the definition of covert abuse, or some know it as hidden abuse. It’s real.
5 Becoming a wife does not make you a possession.becoming a husband does not make you a possession. When you are in a committed relationship before and during marriage, it should be a mutual bond and respect. Honesty, purity, and sincere love. Nothing should be hidden in a relationship. 
6. Both people in the relationship have feelings, goals, and desires. All three should be met with mutual respect.
7 First dates should not be for kissing.
8 Consider standing back to see what your new “friend” is about. Let’s break that down.
If you tell right up front all the things you expect in a significant other, that person has a chance to present to be everything, an maybe more, what you want. While have boundaries and expectations are wise, and sticking to them, remember that other person is human too. Just because you have had one wrong relationship doesn’t mean everyone is like that one.
However, it should remind us to use caution.
SamanthaCSinclair.com 