Hold them tight. You could have never had them to hold.

This artical was written by a mother who wishes to remain anonymous.

That moment you know.The symptoms are all there, and you just know your pregnant. All kinds of crazy mixed emotions run wild. But the one of the top of the list is love, and strong bond growing. You question, is this really happening? Could it really be true?

Before you have a chance to take a test, thinking you should wait to miss your period, things happen so fast leaving you in denial.

You start hurting, then the nausea sets in, then for those who are able to naturally go through this unthinkable loss the big gush. Then the bleeding like a strange period.

Then, all the symptoms that made you suspect you were pregnant suddenly stop. It is an indescribable feeling.

The fact is, miscarriage is the loss of a human being. Not just some tissue that left your body. A heart beat begins at 5 weeks to our knowledge.

You are left to wonder what did I do wrong, if anything? Did my child feel pain. Why? The best truth of all, God still loves you.

You may say, I’m made at God. Just hold on a little longer. He does love us. It is hard to understand why bad things happen.

For me, I remember my baby is in the arms of Jesus, and will never have to know the cruel pain of this earth. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I had to hear a nurse say that I was probably around three or four weeks before my brain and heart seemed to allow me to start to work toward acceptance. That was not right after the miscarriage. I did not go to the ER when it happened. It happened so fast, and I hadn’t taken a test yet. So in some part of my mind I am sure I knew, but I didn’t. I had never experienced it before, I should have gone thinking there was a chance I was pregnant. But thanks be to God, I was blessed to have no medical issues from the miscarriage.

One of the hardest things about it, not long after the baby’s dad and I separated. He was kind and held me the night it happened. However, I did not call him as I walked through the true grieving process. Everything you read talks about being there for each other through this hard time. Although I had support of loved one who knew, I was lonely for the other person. But in all this, the miscarriage, the painful separation, I’ve grown closer to God. Also, God is strengthening me in all areas everyday.

Don’t give up on God, because HE never gave up on you. HE is the Only true trust you have in life. He loves you. I’m sorry for loss, and I’m praying for you.I bought a little outfit as a keepsake to touch, and had a small monument made in my child’s honor. Their life matters.

When you find yourself over whelmed with your other children, or for those who don’t have kids, remember this. You could not have them to hold. Heaven gets sweeter by the moment.